Where are you headed?
Do you ever have those moments where you realize that the universe is conspiring to teach you something?
Over the weekend I got to spend time with Brandy and Hilary, two of my favorite people. Visiting with them is always so uplifting and insightful. (And the time is always too short!) One of the things I came away with from our discussion was the idea that if we know where we want to end up then we can weigh our intended actions against whether they will get us closer to that desired result. In order to do that, we need to be aware of our ultimate goal(s), and mindful of each action that we’re taking – either toward or away from it.
Yesterday I was reading in The 25 Best Time Management Tools & Techniques: How to Get More Done Without Driving Yourself Crazy by Pamela Dodd and Doug Sundheim and I read this:
When you’re clear about your values, life flows. You’re pulled toward what makes you happy and productive. You feel satisfied and fulfilled.
When you’re unclear about your values — or espouse values that other people think are important — life is a struggle. Circumstances push you, often in directions you wouldn’t necessarily choose. You feel frustrated, anxious, and ineffective.
Life shifts from push to pull when you identify, own, and begin living from your own values.
They then provided a list of about 100 values from which to choose, with the instruction to mark any that are important to you. After marking them, the instruction was to narrow the list down to 10, combining any that seemed to you to go together, and then further narrow it to the six that most encapsulate what it is you value.
This process was really interesting to me. I found that values like competition, efficiency, and productivity didn’t get checked. Instead, I found myself with the following six values at the end of the whole process:
Creativity
Joy
Wisdom
Faith
Family
Service
Those are the values that are most important to me, the state of living I want to reach, the person I want to be. Yet, before we started Modern Day Martha, most of my time was focused on values like competition, efficiency, and productivity. And what a surprise, I wasn’t ending up where I wanted to be. But it’s tricky, isn’t it? Because efficiency and productivity and competition (the positive kind) are such good things. They’re just not the road to where I want to be.
Without having put it into words, when I started focusing on the values I actually… value, things started going SO much better; and now that I actually have a list at which I can look repeatedly throughout the day, I have the feeling I will be able to center myself all the more. Now I can solidify the vision of where I want to be, and make goals toward that end. I can push instead of be pulled. And that sounds far more comfortable to me.
What are your 6 values? (Keep in mind, each of my 6 encapsulates many others in my mind, what’s listed is just the overriding value; for example, to me, wisdom includes knowledge, reflection, inspiration, order, balance, discipline, development and integrity. So if it gets tricky, just squish ideas together.)
Edited to add the list:
Acceptance Accountability Achievement Adventure Affection Authenticity
Balance Beauty Belonging
Camaraderie Care Challenge Collaboration Commitment Compassion Competence Competition Confidence Contribution Cooperation Courage Creativity Curiosity
Decisiveness Development Devotion Discipline
Effectiveness Efficiency Empathy Empowerment Excellence Enthusiasm Excitement
Fairness Faith Flexibility Forgiveness Freedom Friendship Fun
Generosity Genuineness Gratitude Growth
Happiness Harmony Health Honesty Honor Humility Humor
Independence Influence Inspiration Integrity Intuition Involvement
Joy
Kindness Knowledge
Leadership Love Loyalty
Moderation Money
Nature
Openess Order
Partnership Passion Patience Peace of Mind Perseverance Play Pleasure Prestige
Quality
Recognition Reflection Respect Responsibility
Security Serenity Service Sincerity Spirituality Stability Status Success
Teamwork Tolerance Tradition Trust
Variety
Wealth Wisdom