MODERN DAY MARTHA

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  • Love

    A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.–definition of “Love” from the American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, 4th edition

    Sometimes people say that I love you is an overused expression.  I think the quality of ineffability is why we look for other ways to “say” that we love someone.  Maryanne mentioned in a recent post that giving gifts is one of her main love languages (what are the others Maryanne?).  A coworker is into big romantic gestures, like rose petals scattered throughout the house and candles lit on every surface.

    I express love by taking care of someone, and I “hear” love that way too.

    I came home today to this…

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    and this…

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    An empty sink and folded laundry?  Nothing says “I love you” to me more than that :)

    How do you express love to the people in your home and life?  How do you “hear” that love from them?

    4 Responses to “Love”

    1. Maryanne says:

      The five Love Languages are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, Physical Touch. You can read more about them here: http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/learn.html

      (I REALLY need to actually read the book. :) )

      Like I said in my post, I’m big on gifts – B once gave me a bunch of black and pink sharpies that had been personalized with “Maryanne’s Marker of DOOM!”; nothing says I love you to me like really knowing what someone would like. I dabble in the other languages, of course, words of affirmation is high up there for me too.

    2. MchllChndlr says:

      Brandy, I really smiled big when I saw the pics of the gifts you’d received. I’ve never really pinpointed how I “hear” love, but I’d have to admit that if someone surprised me by doing one of my mundane/tedious chores lovingly, I’d definitely melt! I know I enjoy quiet down-time too…for instance a quiet visit with a close friend chatting or just sharing time together brings my entire day a lift, my heart is happy.

    3. Julie says:

      I AM reading the five love languages right now, and because of a few things I’ve been thinking about lately, I think my primary love language, the way I “hear” love, is quality time. I find that interesting cuz I never would have suspected… But some things are starting to make sense. I like making things for people, but I’ve always felt that part of the gift was the TIME I put into it. When I go to visit friends/family I feel the need to stay as long as possible. When family leaves precipitously, I “hear” that everything else is much more important. I love nothing better than to do NOTHING with my husband in the evening but be together.

      @Michelle – so you see, the best thing you could for me on Tues was what you did. Spend some time with me!

    4. Jessica says:

      So interesting! I should probably read that book. I think I express my love by words of affirmation most frequently. I am constantly telling my children how proud I am of them, how cool they are, how much I love them, how smart they are, etc. I feel like I tell my husband that all the time too but the other day he mentioned that I don’t tell him that very often. I think part of that is that his way of understanding love is often physical touch and so he is not “hearing” me when I tell him. That’s good to know so I can make sure I speak his language so he actually hears me.

      My language is probably actions and words. I melt when I find little chores done that save me time and energy. I love it when he does the dishes or helps put away the clothes in our room. Things like that.

      I think I need to have a heart to heart with my husband about this. We are not communicating as well as we could be.

      I may be spilling more beans here than I intended… :)