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  • Love is Spoken Here…

    I have a dirty little secret…

    I’m a serious emotional nutcase.  I fly off the handle at the slightest thing.  I can sometimes see that this is regulated by my hormones but other times I don’t see any cause other then me possibly being slightly crazy.

    For the most part, my inability to control my emotions is not necessarily a bad thing.  It doesn’t bother me too much and it doesn’t bother my husband or family too much.  The times that it really bothers me is when my children are acting up and I have a difficult time staying calm and dealing with the situation in a logical, firm and loving way.  Sometimes I do this better then other times.  Somedays I feel like my children are in time outs all day.  Some days are tiring and not fun.

    I am a firm believer in fun.  I believe childhood should be filled with fun.  Life should be filled with fun.  Motherhood should be a daily exercise in fun.  It is hard to encourage fun when you are having a difficult time staying happy.

    So, the other day as I lay down with my 2 year old to put him down for a nap, I was focusing on saying a silent prayer.  I was telling the Lord about my concerns with how I was feeling quite upset and not enjoying Motherhood that day.  I was telling Him that I really wanted our home to be a place where the Spirit is in abundance and we treat each other kindly and lovingly.  I was praying that I would find some kind of help, inspiration and guidance to help me be a better mom and help my home be a more loving place.

    Then I drifted off to sleep.

    I woke up a bit later with this song running through my head.  This particular verse is what I keep singing.

    Mine is a home where every hour is blessed by the strength of priesthood power, with Father and Mother leading the way, teaching me how to trust and obey; and the things they teach are crystal clear for love is spoken here.

    I can often feel the Savior near when love is spoken here.

    I really feel like this was an answer to my prayer; kind of a reminder that I have to really focus on my tone of voice and make sure that love is spoken in my home.  As mother and primary care giver in our family, I have to remember that this is my responsibility.

    Since I woke up with that song in my head, it has replayed over and over many times.  I found myself mentally singing that song this afternoon when a trial reared it’s ugly head.  I focused on speaking with love and that trial was vanquished!

    My personal list of things that I have to do to make my home a better place is this:

    • Read my scriptures daily
    • Pray often.  Don’t forget to pray when I am feeling angry or upset.
    • Sing this song and other wonderful songs from the LDS Children’s Primary songbook as often as I need.
    • Play the mp3′s from the LDS Children’s Primary songbook as often as needed, as well. (Which can be downloaded along with other collections for free here.)
    • Be aware of my tone of voice.  If something is coming out negative sounding then I need to stop, mid-sentence, and fix that problem.
    • Read the scriptures to my children at bed time.

    It is very important to me that my home is filled with love.  Some of these things I do regularly, some of them I need to work on.  All together en masse, I should be a force to be reckoned with!  No negative feelings should be able to enter into our home.  Now I just have to do this and make it a habit.

    That, I am praying for.

    I kind of want to add a disclaimer here:  My children are wonderful.  They are inherently sweet, loving little boys.  Our house is not a home filled with major strife and contention. I am not an angry mom who is yelling and hitting her children all day long.  I just want to be a better mother and homemaker and I know that I need the kind of help that I can only receive from the Lord.  You don’t need to fear for their or call CPS on me or anything.  I’m actually not that crazy!:)

    5 Responses to “Love is Spoken Here…”

    1. Maryanne says:

      Oh Jessie, I so hear you. Seriously, I could have written this post. I mean, except for the personal revelation part. But the rest of it, yes. We’re fighting the same battle, you and I, and I think it’s mostly with ourselves. If we can just focus on the love and the fun, it should work, right? Right?

      You are an incredible, incredible mom, and I know your kids adore you.

    2. Hilary says:

      I love this post, because I struggle with the same thing. I often forget how magical and fun it is to be a mother and struggle with negative feelings. Thanks for the reminder that there is always help available through prayer!

    3. Brandy says:

      I find that making an effort to have a quiet home helps me make my home a better place. Too often I turn on music or the TV to mask the fact that I live alone and miss the sounds of kids playing or a husband talking about his day. If I think about it too much I get lonely, so I try avoidance. When I face it head on, though, and just AM in the moment, not distractions, I feel better, and my home feels holier.

    4. Hilary says:

      I often find ispiration in a children’s hymn I learned a LONG time ago…